There's a new article on cracked entitled The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World that I think is perfect for this community.
"As Thick As Manure And Only Half As Useful."
"You're as ugly as a salad."
"Let the rats ejaculate on you."
And most importantly:
"Your mother is a big turtle" - Again, means nothing without context. But because a turtle doesn't know its father, it's a creative way of calling someone a bastard.