MELANIE (heartbreak_lies) wrote in insult_me,
MELANIE
heartbreak_lies
insult_me

PERSON 1: Excuse me, aren't we related?
PERSON 2: No, and I don't want to be.

PERSON 1: Do you mind if I smoke?
PERSON 2: I don't care if you burn.

PERSON 1: I'd like to marry you.
PERSON 2: I'd rather skip straight towards the divorce.

PERSON 1: Would you go crazy if I went out with you for a couple of months and then left you?
PERSON 2: I'd go crazy if you went out with me for a couple of months and didn't leave.

PERSON 1: I'm sure I could turn you on.
PERSON 2: You couldn't even turn on a radio.

PERSON 1: Can I wash your car for you?
PERSON 2: I don't think your hose would reach.

PERSON 1: Please talk to me so that creep over there will leave me alone.
PERSON 2: I just said that to someone about you.

PERSON 1: Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?
PERSON 2: Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
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